Oh, "cum" on!!

So the other day I went to the Kelana Jaya Giant to do some grocery shopping with my momma. Strolling down the lanes, picking up my "Coco Pops" (which I have every morning for breakfast) and some milk to go with it, I suddenly heard my stomach growling.


So I thought it's either the Chicken Rice or the Banana Leaf I had the previous day which would have caused my stomach to ache. Decided to leave the stuff with my mum, told her to continue with her picking up stuff while I deal with my stomach ache at the toilet.


Walking towards the toilet, I was. Two ladies came up to me, promoting some "shit", them frowning after me giving them the 'hand'. Another lady who was walking in front of me gave me a scared look, tightened her grip on her handbag, and slowly walked into RHB bank.


Me with my unshaven beard, looking like the true descendant of an Italian mobster walked straight into the males toilet on the 2nd floor of the Kelana Jaya Giant mall. I really had to take a dump. Really. Badly.


Two doors were shut, them flanking open after me kicking them hard. The first one was smelly like hell, had brown spots (yepp, it probably was what you're thinking) all over. Moved on to the next one, and it looked pretty decent to me. I thought for a minute or two, this doesn't seem right. But the pressure in my bottocks couldnt hold any longer, so I couldnt care less.


Went in, slammed the door behind me. Took a closer look at the toilet seat, washed it with a pipe nearby. Let it dry for a little and then FINALLY sat down. Pooped and pooped and pooped. Felt sooooo relieved after a long long time.


So then comes the time you know, where you just sit there waiting for more to come out. And it takes around atleast 2 minutes. THAT wait. And you start thinking about your next appointment or atleast I was thinking what else was I suppose to get from Giant.


Then I noticed a spot, next to me on the floor. It looked goo-ey. Slimy. Whitish. It looked like spit for a minute, but then I thought, why the hell would anyone spit outside the toilet bowl. Doesn't make any sense. Then I thought it be glue. But then, why the hell would anyone want to spill glue all over the toilet. Then it strucked me. It was "CUM".


Bloody hell. It fits. Makes perfect sense. Anyone (especially bangla workers) would like to jerk off in the toilet. I mean, where else would they do it then. I was freaking disgusted. My poop which I was trying to squeeze out (you know what I mean, you've done that before so don't go pointing fingers at me saying EEEEWWW) just flushed out. I started looking around the walls to see if there were anymore.


But then I realised, why the hell am I looking for "cum". Cleaned up my ass. Dashed out of there, and continued with my shopping. Seriously, I'm never going back to the toilets at the Giant mall anymore. Thinking of it again just wants to make me puke. Bluuueeekkkk.


Cheers.


P.S. Conclusion is, never use toilets outside your home. Eat clean Chicken Rice and Banana Leaf food. Never use the toilets at the Kelana Jaya Giant mall. And most importantly, never ever jerk off in a public area (girls, this applies to you too); pity the faggots like me who just want to enjoy the fundamental use of a toilet bowl, which is TO TAKE A DUMP!!

Scintillating

That was me at the Bukit Jalil Stadium yesterday, when Man Utd visited KL for a match against Malaysia XI. Scintillating, or rather 'titillating' (wanted to put that as my title, but realised it wasn't just my tits that enjoyed the brilliant game) the match was. 100,000 was the number. Bukit Jalil was never this packed. Full house!! With Man Utd and Malaysia fans jumping up and down, cheering, singing, and of course 'Mexican wave'-ing. I'll tell you about the actual experience someday.


Truly an amazing match though. Man Utd 2-0 up by 40 minutes and then came a wonder strike by Amri Yahya, who then scored the equaliser, only for Michael Owen to win the game for Man Utd in the last 5 minutes.


But really, Malaysia was up to par. They started well, passed well, worked well, but lacked the finishing touch. Man Utd was its usual. Passed brilliantly, went forward well, and scored good goals, only Malaysia's ones' were better.


I went in a shy Malaysia fan, but came out a proud one. I have to salute and take my hat off for K.Rajagopal, the coach of the Malaysia team, who has really transformed the whole football team of Malaysia. He's mixed up the play now, and they look more confident playing as a team.


Really enjoyed the match, and am looking forward for Arsenal to visit Malaysia now, one of these days hopefully. Oh yea, Michael Owen scored his first ever goal for Man Utd, and it was in KL. Beat that!! Heehee.


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Watched loads of movies lately. The Hangover, Obssessed, Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, Adventureland, Bart Got A Room, Haunting in Connecticut, Land of the Lost, The Soloist, and of course, Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince. All of em were pretty entertaining, but I thought Harry Potter was superb, taking into account the previous shitty 5th movie.


HP this time had a good storyline, focusing more into the relationships between the main characters, and also it looked more professional on cover. Emma Watson has so totally grown really hot, and I've fallen for her now. Megan Fox is still my number one, though.


Hmmm. Loads of stuff coming up these coming few weeks. Aite peeps, off to continue watching 'Big Brother'. Don't waste water, drink beer!! (ohkaayyy, that was random. but shit happens when you stay in the house for too long, trust me).


Cheers.

Love Fifteen

Jimmy Connors once said, "In the modern game, you're a clay-court specialist, a grass-court specialist or a hard-court specialist - or you're Roger Federer." Well said, Sir.


I have to admit, I had witnessed one of the best tennis finals in my life. You wouldn't have expected Andy Roddick to be Roger's opposite, but Andy truly deserved to be there. A smashing 77 games played, breaking the world-record of an earlier 72 games.


Federrer started a little nervy, His first-serves and placing were really off, but after recovering from one set down to come up to 2-1 boosted his confidence and really got him serving those aces (50 total in a match - absolutely unbelievable).


But hats off to Mr. Andy Roddick for putting up a stunning fight. I've never liked him before. I do now. No more with that angry attitude and bad stroking. Andy Roddick has definitely changed as a person and a tennis player. His first and second serves have to be the best in the business, and he can come up with cracking shots, every once in a while.


Yeah, I know many of you thought Roddick deserved it, but have you actually seen the shots Roger played to win the match. Yes, most of them were off Roddick's mistakes, but that's how Roddick won two sets as well, off Federrers mistakes.


Well, he's got 15 Grand Slam titles now, surpassing Pete Sampras's record. And I'd bet there are many more to come. Well done, Roger. You truly deserve your success. I am really really sorry for Andy Roddick because I thought he put up an amazing fight, but someone has to win someday. And am sure Andy Roddick will start winning some titles back.


The Wimbledon is with its rightly owner now. The US Open is next. Oh wells, thats all from me now. I so need to play tennis with some one now. Anyone??


Cheers.


P.S. I'm planning to go for next year's Wimbledon final. Join me?? Hopefully Pete Sampras, Bjorn Bord, Henry Kissinger, Russell Crowe, Woody Allen, Michael Ballack, Alex Ferguson, Sachin Tendulkar, and others come back too!!